Musings on final result

The final result of CSS-2012 was announced on May 20, 2013. 

It has resulted in ambivalent feelings. Not sure whether I should be happy at what I have achieved amidst such a cut-throat competition or sad at how much better it could still have been.

Although the full picture of the result is yet to emerge, it is clear that I am at least going to get allocated but perhaps not in the top-notch groups. I might end up in OMG or less.

It has been a long journey and one which is still far from over.

My parents are happy that I will no longer be an unemployed man and that I am going to be a CSS officer after all. They must also be feeling a little sorry that mine has not been a stellar performance, something that they could give congratulations for in the family and friends. They don't give me this impression at all. They look reasonably happy, relieved and proud of me. But, somewhere deep down their hearts, they must be sorry too. This is not to detract from the fact that my performance has not been too bad. Considering the fact that my subjects were hugely out of favour with the examiners this year, I wasn't expecting any skies. Having said that, I was expecting better than what it is turning out to be. For fear of being misconstrued as thankless, let me say it clearly that I am not particularly unhappy. To be able to stand at 186 in Pakistan out of first 10066 and then 800, there is surely a lot to be proud of. Moreover, I stand a good chance to get allocated to OMG which is my 5th preference anyway, despite my low-scoring subjects and unprecedented competition in Sindh. Thus, performance is undoubtedly good. The ambivalence, however, is born of the high standards that I set for myself and high expectations that my kith and kin attach to me.  

It was my first attempt and there are two more attempts in which I can make amends for whatever I could not do in my first. I am receiving congratulations from my friends and accepting them with a glee. Heart goes out to many of my friends whose chances of even an allocation are remote if not dead. 
Despite my moments of skepticism, I am a believer to the core. And I thank God for the good result and for giving me something to cheer about. 

I hope when the full picture emerges, it turns out to be even better than what I imagine it to be. The result has also shown that I can do it and do it big the next time so the hard work will continue.      

a mindset

It is about the mindset, a sickening one. This story from Afghanistan has sad resemblance with the state of affairs in some sections of Pakistan. Nevertheless, Pakistan has succeeded ,at least inside Parliament, in overcoming such senseless opposition to some progressive pro-women legislation. Implementation to such statutes remains questionable.

Here is the link to the story in today's paper:

http://dawn.com/2013/05/19/afghan-mps-block-law-on-womens-rights/

 

answers

After reading a few columns, op-eds, et al, I have figured out the answers to my questions and they are as follows: 

1) Everyone expected PML(N) to emerge as the single largest party but everyone also expected a hung parliament and no one, even for a single moment of indiscretion, suggested that any one party can form a govt. on its own. But, Lo and behold ! PML(N) is poised to form a govt. almost on its own. So, what are the reasons behind its such a stellar performance and how could it defy all prediction and analyses ?

 Ans: NS protected his own vote base and further consolidated it by a relatively good performance in Punjab. PML(N) also made inroads into PPP's vote bank due to PPP's misgovernance and its explicable non campaign. Imran's message did have an appeal and did charge up people, but not many. The high voter turn-out and first-time voters did not all go to IK. Instead of neutralising each other's vote-bank, both IK and NS ate into PPP's base, NS more than IK by virtue of its not so narrow focus on the urban base alone.

2) Are the PTI men in KPK entrenched seasoned, old politicians or new faces, political non-entities swept into power by IK wave ?

Ans: Yes, the majority of them are new faces, first-timers in the parliament, barring a few seasoned politicians such as pervaiz khattak, yousaf ayub khan and sardar Mohammed Idrees-all three have been ministers before. Eleven debutants belong to Peshawar and to PTI.

3) Does the PPP's brilliant performance in Sindh owe it to strong individual candidates or the Bhutto romance and blind reverence for 'TEER' ?

Ans: Primarily, it is the strong individual candidates who are responsible for PPP's victory in Sindh. True, the Bhutto romance still holds a sway to some extent, the emotional appeal has weakened a great deal. Had not it been for the strong individual constituency politicians, PPP would not have been able to do so well on the basis of  'Bhutto romance' alone. Thus, it would be wrong to suggest that the Sindhi electorate continues to vote for Bhutto.Bhutto romantics exist in Sindh, but too thinly stretched out to make an electoral impact.Sindhi voters vote for their individual candidates who they think will provide them with relief, once elected.  

P.S. The last answer, however, is subject to further analyses and scrutiny.

understanding election results; 3 questions

My three election questions. Looking for answers to understand why the results are the way they are. 

1)  Everyone expected PML(N) to emerge as the single largest party but everyone also expected a hung parliament and no one, even for a single moment of indiscretion, suggested that any one party can form a govt. on its own. But, Lo and behold ! PML(N) is poised to form a govt. almost on its own. So, what are the reasons behind its such a stellar performance and how could it defy all prediction and analyses ?

2) Are the PTI men in KPK entrenched seasoned, old politicians or new faces, political non-entities swept into power by IK wave ?

3) Does the PPP's brilliant performance in Sindh owe it to strong individual candidates or the Bhutto romance and blind reverence for 'TEER' ?

 

Of books and fathers

I picked up 'Aag ka darya' to read. I had bought this book from 'THOMAS & THOMAS' way back in 2005, as per the date scribbled by me at the time. However, I never quite brought myself around the idea of actually reading it. Now, I am trying to voraciously read through all the books that are placed on my shelf, while I can. I started with Hanif's much-applauded debut novel 'A case of exploding mangoes '. I followed it with Obama's memoir 'Dreams from my father' and a few days back I took up Qurratulain hyder's magnum opus "Aag ka Darya'. I knew that I was reading a classic since I had heard and read so much about it. I'll have to admit that the first part of the book was a little difficult for someone like me who was reading Urdu fiction after a very long time. And since the first few chapters deal with a period (around 4th century B.C) which  was dominated by Hinduism as well as Budhism, idiom of the era used in the book is not yet completely familiar to me. However, that is not the reason why I have put the book down. Yes, I have stopped reading it. This is so because I wanted to first read a few other things so as to be able to appreciate the book in its entirety. Two important streams run through the entire course of the book.One, historical and the other, civilizational. The book employs a transmigratory  technique to trace the historical processes which shaped the identity of our region. It also deals with the important 'whys' and 'hows' of the partition of India and the creation of Pakistan. Thus, in order to be able to appreciate the book even further, I need to first familiarize myself with the history of the region since the ancient times. Although I have read many history books, I don't seem to have retained much of it except for a very fine sketch. This,coupled with my father's constant exhortations to read history and eschew fiction, has led me to put the novel down and pick up once again Nehru's 'Glimpses' . I remember a few days back while I was driving to library with my dad alongside ( he accompanies me, at times, to bring the car back), he asked me once again to read history to which I replied that I had read it already in Nehru's 'Glimpses'. As I pulled up the car outside library, my dad advised me to read the books that Nehru had read to write his 'Glimpses'. Thinking how easier it was to say what to read than actually, and at times painstakingly, reading them, I immediately responded , 'I too will have to go jails to achieve this.'  Leaving my father behind laughing at my remark, I entered library. Perhaps with that one little remark, I have saved myself from having to read those big history tomes, at least for now. Nonetheless, history is important. And hence, I am making a brave attempt to once again pick up 'Glimpses' and I intend to follow it with Nehru's "Discovery" and Aitzaz's "Indus saga" and a few more before I go back to Quratulain hyder, lovingly called 'aanie aapaa'. Long wish list, I hope it materializes. Distractions, all of you, stay away!!....

DREAMS FROM MY FATHER- a review

so the book is finally over.It took me relatively longer time. This is so primarily because of my intermittent nature of study these days. Nevertheless, it was a pleasant experience. Both Obama's story and the manner in which he has narrated it are poignant. His reflections and revelations, ideas and convictions, observations and experiences make for an interesting study. Yet, it must be said, the book might not have been as captivating as it turned out to be, had it not been for the fact that the author is now the US president. This single fact provides the single most important relevance to the book. Hence, when one reads about his critique of runaway consumerism in New york and its slavish imitation in Djakarta and Nairobi, one can't help but wonder and be amused at the contradiction as now he ,himself, is at the helm of affairs in a country which is considered to be the epitome of free-market economy and its concomitant consumerism.His principled opposition to the aid-politics and dependency syndrome in the Thirld world  and  his not so thinly veiled contempt for the unholy alliance in which big companies from rich countries use pliant governments in poor countries to extract maximum economic benefits make one question, at least one's own self, how did this man manage to become the president of US. The stories of his vast travels which took him from Hawai to Indonesia, India, Kenya and even Karachi reassure the reader that finally White House has the occupant whose exposure is vast and varied and who knows better. Not only does Obama come across as a well-read man, his study is diverse too. It is not restricted to one version-the victor's version-alone. He knows about different perspectives.His understanding of colonialism, its effects and aftermath appears to be particularly keen. He knows exactly how the person in the thirld world country thinks and how he views the U.S. This is a far cry from the usual "white" presidency or the general U.S public, both of which show remarkable sense of ignorance about the "other" parts of the world. As for the personal story of Obama, being black in america and its many consequent personal insults and collective pain do not make him bitter. He abhors blind nationalism, crying conspiracy or playing victim. He takes up his share of responsibility and he works. True, he too had his moments of doubts and weaknesses.Still, he never gave himself up to any parochial prejudices. It was an act of walking on a tight rope which he found himself doing constantly.  Without being seen as someone who is co-opted and without being labelled as disloyal to his community, Obama wanted to believe in the inherent goodness of all human beings and not let his world get compartmentalized in the black and the white. Despite his foregoing belief in common humanity, Obama remained alive to the fact that he was black after all and can be seen constantly reminding himself about his responsibility towards the black community, be it via community organizing or Law.

The book also makes it abundantly clear that the man was not born with a silver spoon. Obama has experienced poverty first-hand. He has spent a night without a shelter in New york and on a cramped cot in Kenya. He has travelled in cramped vehicles and ,at times, while standing most of the way with his head stooped due to low roof bus.

Obama's language in the book is quite rhythmic for the most part. However, a few paragraphs leave much to be desired. The length of the book too could have been reduced by a quarter. At times it does give reader an impression of a drag. Nevertheless, the book manages to hold  interest of the reader till the very end. The highlights of the book are Obama's reflections, monologues, the big questions he asks himself and the last few lines of every chapter. The book can be adapted into a movie, since it is written with such a detail of all the sights and sounds and smells.

Overall, the book is a good read and if nothing else, it will at least help you get a better understanding of arguably the most important man in the world right now.  

Looking back....

I have been reading Obama's "Dreams from my father". It is an interesting book and is having a strange effect on me. I have only read a first few pages and am already thinking about my own past, my childhood, teenage, and adolescence which , in my case, spans over university and library life. I suddenly realise the importance of remembering the past and of recording it. In the hustle and bustle of everyday life and in our exuberance to keep pace with it and in our notion of 'living in the moment', we tend to undervalue our past, if not completely disregard it. We consider reminiscence a distraction at best and an utter waste of time at worst. However, past holds many things, some flattering and not so flattering, some bring smile and even laughter, others embarrassment, relief and lots of 'if'- 'would that'-'wish'

In my case, it is equally true. I spent first eighteen years of my life at Larkana and it seems as if it was long time ago. I never looked back. Every now and then, my conversations with my mother did wander off to the not-so-distant shores of Larkana but never quite enough. I got so unnecessarily busy and absorbed 'in the moment' that Larkana and its people, my childhood friends and neighbours rarely occurred to me, barring a few moments, a few phone calls, two fleeting visits and one glance at my school. This is so despite the fact that the time spent at Larkana was so fulfilling and enriching. Here in Karachi, the phase of university life which spanned over four years ended and I did not look back yet again. However, it is not all that unusual. Life after university, and outside university, is like this. It does not give you an opportunity to sit under a tree, catch some breath, look back and reminisce good old campus days. The jostling begins. The naivety of your youthful dreams, claims and aspirations begins to dawn on you. The limits to what you can actually achieve begin to become clearer. It is not that simple, after all. You are not that special , after all. You do pick up a few successes along the way but they do not come without your share of failures too, both personal and professional. This post-university phase of life saw me seated behind a carrel no. 25 at DCL, Karachi. Dickens says, " it was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us." Such were the two years spent at Library and , although everything hinges on the result, it looks like the phase of library is coming to an end and so is my blog. In short, it is important, at times, to remember past, if not to learn lessons and to see what we could have done differently then to just savour the memories and to appreciate the years and the life we have spent and,more importantly, to come to terms with it....