Looking back....

I have been reading Obama's "Dreams from my father". It is an interesting book and is having a strange effect on me. I have only read a first few pages and am already thinking about my own past, my childhood, teenage, and adolescence which , in my case, spans over university and library life. I suddenly realise the importance of remembering the past and of recording it. In the hustle and bustle of everyday life and in our exuberance to keep pace with it and in our notion of 'living in the moment', we tend to undervalue our past, if not completely disregard it. We consider reminiscence a distraction at best and an utter waste of time at worst. However, past holds many things, some flattering and not so flattering, some bring smile and even laughter, others embarrassment, relief and lots of 'if'- 'would that'-'wish'

In my case, it is equally true. I spent first eighteen years of my life at Larkana and it seems as if it was long time ago. I never looked back. Every now and then, my conversations with my mother did wander off to the not-so-distant shores of Larkana but never quite enough. I got so unnecessarily busy and absorbed 'in the moment' that Larkana and its people, my childhood friends and neighbours rarely occurred to me, barring a few moments, a few phone calls, two fleeting visits and one glance at my school. This is so despite the fact that the time spent at Larkana was so fulfilling and enriching. Here in Karachi, the phase of university life which spanned over four years ended and I did not look back yet again. However, it is not all that unusual. Life after university, and outside university, is like this. It does not give you an opportunity to sit under a tree, catch some breath, look back and reminisce good old campus days. The jostling begins. The naivety of your youthful dreams, claims and aspirations begins to dawn on you. The limits to what you can actually achieve begin to become clearer. It is not that simple, after all. You are not that special , after all. You do pick up a few successes along the way but they do not come without your share of failures too, both personal and professional. This post-university phase of life saw me seated behind a carrel no. 25 at DCL, Karachi. Dickens says, " it was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us." Such were the two years spent at Library and , although everything hinges on the result, it looks like the phase of library is coming to an end and so is my blog. In short, it is important, at times, to remember past, if not to learn lessons and to see what we could have done differently then to just savour the memories and to appreciate the years and the life we have spent and,more importantly, to come to terms with it....