Ramzan is under way. We had planned to go for Umrah for fifteen days. The visas took long to be issued and eventually we received a response in the negative.Owing to some construction work underway around Kabba, the process of issuing visas has been slowed down and the number, reduced. Thus, we are not going for Umrah anymore. I was not excited in the first place. I did not have the yearning. I am not a religious man nor am I spiritually too strong. Don't get me wrong. I am a believer. I am neither atheist nor agnostic. I believe quite strongly in His existence and in the unparalleled example of Prophet Muhammad's life (P.B.U.H) . It is just that I am not as yet a good Muslim, 'religiously' or ritualistically. Nonetheless, it is a work in progress. Thus, the denial of visa did not make any difference to me. However, for my parents, especially my mother, it was not that simple. Her eyes welled up with tears. Denial of visa was taken to mean the denial of His blessings and much more. God willing, their yearning will be answered soon and my parents will be able to feast their eyes on the holy sites of Mecca and Medina. As for me, I am too fixated on the here and now to think about the hereafter.Days go by mulling, and at times fretting, over how to do something worthwhile and about whether I am doing enough.It is a little jumble in my head. Clarity is missing. As a result of which I have taken recourse to books.I have realized that it helps. I am feeling much better. Thus, when in doubt, READ.
Since it is ramzan, my nights are spent reading Mandela's 'Long walk to freedom'. It is a good time to be with Mandela as he fights his last battle.
Viva Madiba...
